Happy Halloween!!!!

Halloween at last! I LOVE this day! I get excited about seeing the kids dressed up, passing out candy, trick or treating. It's so much fun. I'm also really excited to see Grace with her GREEN Elphaba make up on. She'll be the cutest darn Elphie ever I'm sure.

Lets take a moment to reminisce on Halloween's past...

2004

This was Grace's first Halloween, she was 5 months old and dressed up as Dumbo.

2005

This year I was Pregnant with Presley, I was ready to pop (well felt ready at least) I bought Grace a chicken costume earlier in the year because it was TOO cute. But I also had a snow white costume. I couldn't decided what to dress her up as SO I did both. Snow White passed out candy and the lil Chicken did some trick or treating.



2006

In 2006 we had two girls. SO we did our first theme for Halloween (and last) Grace was JoJo and Presley was Goliath. Presley hated trick or treating so she stayed back with Auntie at an appearance at one house. It was a shame really, it was a REALLY cute costume!


2007

Last year we handed down Grace's JoJo to Presley and Grace was a pumpkin. She picked out her own costume and I LOVED it. I was a little bumed at first, I thought she would have a big fat plumpy pumpkin costume, and it ended up ... NOT being that. BUT I ended really loving what she did pick out.

2008

As you all know, I have Elphaba and a Dinosaur this year. I'll post more pictures tomorrow of tonight! I LOVE TODAY!!!

Oh yes, we mustn't forget Cash.. he's a pumpkin this year. It was Grace's idea.. Tyler feels sorry for him. I don't ... HEY he lives with two little girls, he was destined to be dressed up. He should just be glad he's big and won't fit in any of their baby's clothes. That's what my dog had to grow up with.. poor ol girl!

Be safe out there people.. and NO pirate gold coins!!

and... THIS is why I don't go to the park

I'm not much of an out doorsie kinda gal. BUT my kids are, so I try to make the effort. But it seems like going to the park is always a head ache. It starts at home with the constant chitter chatter of little people saying "are we going to the park? are we going to the park... park.. park..." All while I'm trying to get me ready, them ready, diaper bag packed, lunch or a snack packed, and the dog squared away. Today was no exception. Constant chitter chatter, while I did all the above things I listed in ADDITION to dinner. I am making a dinner that must be crock potted so I had to get it ready before we left. Once the excitement of just getting out the door ended is when the real fun started.

We got to the park and it's hot and sunny. There is NEVER enough shade at the parks around here. We were there for maybe 15 min when the kids started bugging me with

"Can we eat lunch yet?"...

"no.. we'll eat at 11:00 go play"...

"But I'm hungry now..".....

"I didn't bring you to the park to eat, we can do that at home.. go play"

After watching them play for about an hour I checked Presley's BG at 10:40 and she was 96.. I knew that was good but she dropped over 100 points in under 30 min and I didn't want to chance her dropping more in the next 20 min before lunch, so we ate early. The girls at lunch as slow as sloths.. sometimes they are the SLOWEST eaters. I'm getting tired, I'm hot and just not having a whole lot of fun, but really.. that's what mom's do, we do things that we don't love for the happiness of our children, so I smile and act excited for them.

Once lunch was over we played supper hero for a while, when I gave the girls the 5 min warning. Both the girls were playing snow cone shop under the jungle gym, grace was making it, and Presley was selling it. Finally it was time to go home for nap. They both started walking towards me when I noticed Presley had two wet spots on her chest.. she was crouching down while playing Snow cone shop.

"Presley did you pee your pants??"

"yes"

I rolled my eyes and thought.. Great. We walked to the car and I took her pants off. I didn't want a wet butt making a mess of the car seat, So I took her pants off, sat her in her seat bare bum and all then took some jeans and layed them over her lap.. (to give her some privacy on the way home) When I stepped back I stepped in something mushy. I looked down and there it was a BIG pile of KID CRAP! That's right, Presley pooped as well as peed So now I'm thinking, GREAT! I was trying to avoid pee in the seat and ended up with a poo butt instead. I unbuckle her, got her out of the car and look at the big Poo streak now in the car seat, I shake my head at the fact I have NO wippies. I put the jeans down ON the seat now and put her bare, poopie butt on the jeans, clean off my shoe, and hop in the car for a quick drive home to clean up the poo that was now on her original clothes, her bum, and her car seat. As we drove away Presley waved out the window

"BYE POOP!!"

Our JDRF walk.

The big day has come and gone. It was a good experience and a learning one. I have a few suggestions for the JDRF that I think could improve the walk as a whole. First of all, we walked on the closed campus of UCSD, which was nice.. the University is beautiful, BUT whats the point? Tyler mentioned "why are we walking on a closed campus where nobody can see us? if we were out on the street people would see us, we would bring... AWARENESS." Good Point my love! I mean obviously WE'RE all into the cause because we raised money and we're there. BUT I think the walk should be about being together, seeing other families who are effected with the same thing your family is, AND bringing awareness to the world. So why walk where nobody can see you? We should be where people in their cars would say "whats that all about?" awareness. SO anyways, that was my MAJOR criticism of the walk, and I'll be saying something.

It was emotional for me, although I'm proud to say I didn't cry.. not that crying would have been awful but I didn't want to cry that day. Once we got off the free way and we saw a sign that said
"JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes" with an arrow, that made me tear up. I was on the way to a huge fundraiser for a disease MY DAUGHTER has. That was crazy to me and made my eyes welt. Once there I was good. While we walked I saw a very range of people walking.. small kids, medium size kids, big kids. All walking for themselves. I saw a little boy probably about 5 with a sticker that said "I'm walking my for myself" I saw a little girl probably 6 or 7 stopped with her mom while they checked her blood sugar. Seeing all these CHILDREN effected by this awful disease made me tear up for them.. and Presley. Knowing she was so little when she was diagnosed and looking at the older kids made me realize this disease is NEVER going away. It will never change, she will be dealing with this when she's 5 when she's 7 when she's 12, always. And I've always known that, but SEEING it, was different and it made me choke up and tears fill my eyes during the walk. That moment happened to me right when my friend Katie Put her arm threw mine and just walked quietly with me, which of course made me that much MORE emotional! It was a good day, and one I look forward to next year, I look forward to giving them suggestions and hoping they take them to heart. Here are our photo's from our JDRF walk.

The reason we walk The proud mother, and silly daddy to the little reason we walk

The silly big sister to the little reason we walk

Aunt Tracy and Grace

COUSINS!

Lorianne and Me

Auntie and Presley

Our Team

Uncle Ryan and Liam

My bestie and me! What an amazing friend she is to have come all the way down from Bakersfield to support me and Presley on this day. She's wonderful!!

Group of the girls

Lorianne is a wacko

Mom, Tracy and Me

What cuties!

My heart aches with the amount of love I have for this child.

A NICER picture of the hubs and me

"Who hates diabetes?? I hate diabetes!!"

Okay, so it may be weird seeing a 2 year old drinking diet coke. BUT when your on a strict NO Carb snack diet, and most people are eating crackers and cookies, banana's and bagels.. you gotta throw the girl a bone. And her bone is a diet coke. She didn't drink it all so relax.

I LOVE this one!!!!

Waiting to get out of the gate!

waiting to get going

Katie and my momma

And... we're off!

haha I like this one.

oiy! I can't believe I posted this. There we are.. walking to the finish

Well, Tyler ended up taking a ride to the end.

Presley wanted to sit on daddy's lap

Aunt Tracy and Presley
It means a LOT to me too that Tracy was there. Besides my mom and sister, she and her family were the only family members to join our walk. It means a lot to me that she came to support Presley... because after all, that's who it's all about.

Watching the lamo Jumpitz!

Our team shirt in the T-shirt contest. We didn't win, some stupid Jedi shirt won. haha. I like ours more.

This was a forced hug. She was mean to him just before that.

My mom sister and myself!

Mom dancing beacuse we're going to Harbor fish for lunch

The girls and I getting a ride back to the car

Our team minus Lorianne and her girls at lunch!

My bestie and Me!!

THE END!

I think she's more aware than I know

Today at dance while I was peaking into the room from the smallest crack in the door, I saw Presley leave her class and go sit down on a chair. I heard Ms.Chelsea say "Presley come dance with us" I didn't hear Presley respond and I didn't see her walk back threw my tiny crack in the door. I stood up and walked in the class room. I said "Go dance with your friends" She shook her head "I'm done" I respond "Do you want me to check your BG?" she shook her head yes. I took out her meter and pricked her tiny finger squeezed for small amount of blood and waited for the reading.... 60. Yup she was low and quiet possible headed lower. I got her some juice and let her sit out the remainder of dance. It was puzzling to me to think WOW I think she's more aware than I know. I think she must have felt her low coming on and decided to have a seat. How amazing is this tiny 2 year old girl? Who is probably more in tune with her body than most adults. It made me smile and frown all in the same token. I smiled because she knew.. because she was aware.. I frowned because she had to be aware.

With the JDRF walk just 5 days away I'm left wondering how I'm going to be on that day. Pumped up? Excited? Sad? Probably all of the above. I'll be pumped to be with family and friends who love her enough to be there to walk with us. I'll be sad that my daughter is a "cause" I participated in the Breast Cancer 3 day walk last Nov after loosing my aunt. That was a good experience and one I think EVERY women should do at LEAST once in their life time. But it's different for me raising money, awareness, and walking for my daughter. Knowing that my daughter has an illness that is bring thousands of people together to walk, is indescribable for me.

Project Runway and their BIG mistake!

Last night was the BIG finally and BOY was it disappointing! I was so sad that Kenley didn't win. She was my favorite. I liked her clothes, her style was the closet to my style and I felt like she was the under dog, I always route for the under dog. The rest of the designers were mean to her, and nobody was routing for her. I know she had attitude but I think that probably comes from a tough life of people not being very encouraging and having to fight her way threw that. Also I would be offended too if judges called me a copy cat. I do agree that she needs to be aware of whats going on in the fashion industry, but just beacuse she painted fabric doesn't make her a copy cat. So because ONE person painted fabric before, now nobody can EVER paint on fabric again? I don't understand that.
If you want to see my opinions on each outfit just click on the picture and it should get larger with my review.

KENLEY

Korto's line was stunning, to ME it probably had the biggest appeal to a large group of women. They were all well made, she used color beautifully, and her line just seemed like she would be able to dress a lot of DIFFERENT women. And They would have been dressed well. Here's her line.

KORTO

I can NOT believe that she won. Her clothes were boring, they were the same color, the same look but only in different forms. Peddle skirt, Peddle shirt with poofy skirt, Short with pleated coat, Peddle dress.. blah blah blah. It was the same thing over and over. Her show was boring and uninspiring. Her clothe are made well, I'll give her that, but they are boring and her wedding dress looked like it weighed a MILLION pounds. I hated it! But I guess everybody has their own opinions, so here's Leanne's line. I didn't comment on her clothes individually because they are all the same. B-O-R-I-N-G

LEANNE

AMAZING GRACE!

Often times when I talk about kids, I talk about Presley, I talk about the daily battle diabetes brings to us. I rarely speak of our first born and how amazing she is. How people may not know that she too has her own medical condition that caused her to enter our world 4 weeks earlier than expected..

The day after my baby shower I got an unexpected surprise. Grace Emilia Khoranoff was born at 6:30pm at 7 pounds and 18 inches long. It was an over whelming experience for me. Her birth didn't go as expected. It was rushed and scary. During my regular scheduled appointment they noticed her heart rhythm was high and irregular. I was sent to the hospital for monitoring where doctor's scratched their heads on what to do, when with in 4 hours of being their crying for the unknown, not knowing if my baby was okay or would need heart surgery they decided to bring her into our world. I was scared and excited, nervous and anxious. I had never had a baby before and now my first was a emergency situation. The C-Section went quickly they showed her to me briefly before they ran her down to the nursery to be checked my NICU doctors and nurses. Once I was in my own room I was able to hold her for the first time for only a little under 5 min before they took her off to the intensive care unit. From that moment our lives changed forever, our girl, our Grace was with us at last! First family photo

Once we came home life went on as normal. I didn't understand her heart condition but i Know it made me nervous. I remember thinking if I let her cry to much her heart would stop. She was put on medication after her first heart monitor, where they learned her heart beat on average was between 250-275. I was shocked and scared and only knew this heart problem should be corrected by 6 months. Pheph! In the mean time we just enjoyed her. Loved on her, held her every moment possible and played with her often. She was an easy baby, she slept all night from 8 weeks on, would play on the floor with her toys. She was content being alone and didn't need mommy interaction all the time. Which would teach me mommy guilt... Did I play with her enough?? Did I smother her because I played to much? Did i read to her? Am I making her stupid? It became an going battle of what ifs and did i's.

I loved her smile and tiny frame. She was so small she always wore clothes that were normally 3 months smaller that her actual age! She was a tiny petite thing! At 6 months her heart problem didn't correct itself. Now we crossed our fingers for it being corrected at a year.

All of her first were my first too, seeing all the holidays and things in the world for the first time threw her eyes was amazing. Seeing her see a flower for the first time, the wonder in her face. It's so amazing. I don't' even think the word amazing, and the number of times I can say it stacks up to how special it is. Here she is on her first Easter.

We loved taking her places, here she is at the Wild Animal Park with daddy.

I could tell early on that she would be artistic, she loved playing with pens and crayons. I of course thought she was brilliant from the beginning. I could tell in her eye that she was going to be special and extremely smart.
here she is on her first Valentines day picture. our Cupid baby!

She's a traveler too. She took her first air plane ride at only 7 months to Michigan to see Auntie for Christmas. She was a wonderful traveler, because she was such an agreeable girl she didn't fuss or make a ruckus on the plan. People complimented us on how wonderful she was. Of course.. we already knew it.

Up North Michigan

ONE
Heart problem not corrected on it's own. Surgery to come when she's 5

TWO

THREE

FOUR

She is a special girl, she's funny, smart, and beautiful. She's a wonderful artist and amazes me at the things she draws and paints. I've even had her teacher tell me she's really talented with the paint brush, that she was impressed by her art work. She's articulate and has a great vocabulary. She's witty and stubborn. She's unique and special. And with all these wonderful things, I don't talk about her enough. She is my very special girl whom I love her more than anything, I try to make time for her on a one on one level and I try not to loose sight of her very own medical condition. Before Presley was diagnosed with Diabetes we were always worried about her heart. But after diabetes it seemed to take a back seat, it was quieter it didn't make noise or have seizures. It wasn't an hourly battle but a dose of medicine but three times a day. But I try not to loose sight of how important she is and how my heart will ache when she goes in for surgery to correct her heart condition. She is one of a kind and I"m so blessed that she's mine! I am so blessed to have been blessed with such an amazing girl to be my first born!

Grace getting her bedtime does of medication she gets two medicine's three times a day.

Team Shirts!

I got the draft from the art department and here's what the team T-shirts will look like! I HOPE we win the Tshirt contest!!

My little Dino!

Can you believe I got this the NEXT day! Crazy! It's so cute BUT it's a tad to small. It's suppose to fit 2-4T BUT of course my almost three year old is so tall that it's a tad to small in the crotch and looks rather uncomfortable. LUCKILY Aunt Natalie will cut out the crotch and add a patch in hopes of making it a little more roomie. But besides the tightness isn't she sweet?? My little Dino!

Halloween Party #1

Grace and Presley were ELATED to hear that we were going to Aunt Tracy's house for a Halloween party on Monday. They both jumped up and down and could hardly wait to jump in the car and take off. But we had to wait till after school of course. So once school was over we jumped in the car and headed to the Halloween party! Aunt Tracy threw a great party that the kids loved. She's so amazing when it comes to things like this. She's so much fun! She really is Uncle Georges daughter.I realize no one understands the reference to Uncle George, but that's okay, it's not necessary that you do. Just know it's a good thing and Uncle George was the fun Uncle when I was growing up. So much in fact Natalie at dinner one time during Grace said "God Is Good, God is Great.. God is George" yea.. he was pretty amazing, and still is in fact! Anyway... onto the pictures!

Princess Grace working hard

Diabetes friendly snacks (remember Presley isn't allowed any carb snacks)

The hostest with the mostes and Me!

Liam and his mommy

That would be Liam, Me and my boobs to the right of the picture.. Oi!

Presley Loves her aunt Tracy.

Mommy and Baby new year.. Presley didn't want to be dressed up so she was naked the entire time. So we called her baby new year. ALTHOUGH I KNOW baby new year has a diaper and sash and hat.. but that's all besides the point =)

She worked so hard on her mask!

Witch fingers!
I scared Presley with these it was fun

I love her face!
See, Aunt Tracy even had a smoky cauldron

But oddly enough, Aunt Tracy's Dirt cup was not a big hit! I think the fact that it was called a Dirt cup freaked them out.

The end!

Karate

The girls started a NEW Karate class. I must say i LOVE it! First of all, two of the mom's are my friends. Second of all the class is MUCH smaller so there is far more one on one. AND it's how I thought the other class should be. She has the kids stand on the mate, goes threw moves with them, then has them each try things individually where she helps them along. The girls like the class more and it's not right on the beach. Which I'm sure to many would be a wonderful thing but to ME.. it's the opener to a fit. "I wanna go play in the sand.. I wanna play at the beach.. can we play at the beach.. please can we play?!?!?!" Annoying! So here are pictures of their new, smaller, inland karate class!

It's dark but it makes me laugh

Mommy's Pizzaria!

I remember being young, and my mom bring home stuff to make our own mini pizza! It was so much fun and a fond memory of mine. We didn't do it often but I do remember doing it and I remember having fun. Smearing the sauce, adding cheese and toppings, trying to make faces out of peperoni and olives (well.. no olives for me.. yuck!) it was a fun artsy activities I suppose that in the end.. was your dinner!

One night when I didn't really know what to do for dinner I thought.. Mini Pizza's!!! We went to the grocery store for our weekly shopping trip and bought all the fixings. I must say not only is this fun, it's really inexpensive! I suppose it all depends on what you put on your pizza but the basics are REALLY reasonable! Here are some pictures from the girls making their pizza art.

And I just felt like showing Presley and her boy. Can you believe how big he is!?!?!

Halloween Costume!!

The order has been made and it should be in the mail tomorrow! I paid WAY to much for this, BUT when your daughter hears she's going to a Halloween party and jumps up and down saying

"DINOSAUR YEA!! DINOSAUR YEA!!! RAAAAWWW!!!!" It's hard to not get her the costume she obviously has her heart set on. I cant wait to see her in this!!

The definition of a good man

What is the definition of a good man? Is it a man who goes to work every morning comes home every night and provides for his family? I guess depending on where you are in your life the definition of a good man could change. When your a teen in love the qualities you look for may be different than when your in your mid 20-30's looking for Mr.Right.

I am blessed to have some really REALLY good men in my life. Two of them stick out above the rest. Tyler my husband and my Grandpa. I've been giving this a lot of thought lately because my Grandpa has been in the hospital lately and not feeling very well. It's hard for me to imagine a world where for the first time the reality is, he won't be around for ever. That the man who I have watched my whole life be there for the whole family could just... not be there. Him being in the hospital and me thinking about life in general makes me think about the qualities that make a good man. Want to know my definition of a good man? Here it is.

Grampie- He was a good provider while raising his kids, he is honest and loyal. He loves my Grandma, they will be Married 61 years this month and that is amazing and inspirational to me. He not only provided for his children the necessities but he provided memories. Memories of family vacations Up North, family get together's and some killer parties so I've heard. He is there for all of his children and grandchildren. He has the proudest grin of any man I've ever met. I know he loves me and he helped me a lot when my parents got a divorce. I know he helped my mom too. He is so strong and amazing he is in every sense of the word, the definition of a good man.

I know he'll pull threw and get back to his old self again soon. Maybe a few prayers and good thoughts couldn't hurt this amazing man. I pray for him every night and sometimes threw out the day. I think of him offten and just wish he was closer so I could see that proud grin and give him a big hug.

Catch Up!

It's been a REALLY long time, I know. BUT what can I say life is busy. It seems there is always so much to do, I never have time to sit.. write.. and keep in touch with you all. So here's a small catch up of what we've been up to lately. In NO particular order.

Grace's First day of Dance
I didn't get to take a lot of pictures of Grace on her first day of dance because the door of the class room was closed. (darn it!) BUT I did catch this pose on our way into class.
She had fun of course, she knows 3 of the girls from her preschool class, which I think has made the transition from her old dance studio to this new class easier. and easier is always welcomed by mom.
Cousins!!
A few weeks ago Liam and Aunt Tracy came down for a visit. Liam asks for Presley and the girls love seeing Liam and Aunt Tracy. Tracy and I decided that we need to make a better effort in getting together and taking turns driving to each others house so the kids can play and the mom's can chat. Here are some picture's from this fun visit.

The kids!

Aunt Tracy with the girls. it's not easy holding both of them and it's hard getting everybody to look and smile all at once. But I LOVE Presley's face in this one.

Yea, this didn't work out, as soon as Tracy and I left the room Presley started crying

Hmm hanging out

I LOVE her leggings!

Aunt Tracy gave Presley her first shot!

Clothing dilemma
Grace and I battle ALMOST every morning over pants vs dresses. It was cooler a week or so ago and I wanted her to wear pants. but NO.. grace didn't want to wear pants so she said
"Hey! I have a great Idea!!" and her idea was wearing Pants, a shirt, AND a dress.. duh! Why didn't I think of that?

Big ol Dog!
Cash is a BIG ol boy! here he is loving on his daddy!

He looks like an old man here

Books for charity!
A few weeks ago Natalie, my mom, the girls and myself walked around the neighborhood to drop off these paper bags asking for book donations for a fund raiser we were having for the JDRF. It was fun walking around the neighborhood with the kids and the book sale was.. eh, okay. We'll do it again with better advertising!

The wagon of bags!

And their off!

It was good having them go, they did most of the work

Grandma and Grace hitting the opposite side of the street

me

With all their hard work, they earned an ice cream!
Shh don't tell, i totally MISSED the mark on how that pink panther would effect her Blood Sugar.

Sistas!!

Team Logo

Here it is, the TEAM Logo for Presley's Blue Suede Shoe Crew!! Isn't it great!!!! My cousin's Tracy and Adam are the masterminds behind it! LOVE IT!!!

Move Down! Move Down!

Sunday Natalie, Tyler my cousin Adam and myself all went to see the Flogging Molly's play at Veijas casino. It was fun, I liked hanging out with my cousin although.. it can be awkward. I talk A LOT and well, he doesn't so I'm sure.. he probably rolled his eyes at me a few times from the front seat. Lets fast forward threw the awkward silence (well, what I thought was awkward but everybody else thought was peaceful!) loosing money in the casino before the show started, chatting at the bar (which was fun) 2 not so good opening bands to the moment the REAL reason we were there started. My sister was feeling good that night. She had some Guinness (which they actually ran out of... how do you have an Irish Punk band play and not stock up on enough Guinness? That i simply do not understand) and was sitting pretty. So once her favorite band was about to take the stage she said "I'M GETTING CLOSER!!!" Well, i couldn't very well let her go alone, and Tyler and Adam didn't want to send either of us alone (or maybe they just wanted to be closer too.. who knows) So we all moved closer. Adam and Tyler were farther back than Nat and I but I could look over my shoulder and see my husband standing there. So i felt safe. Once the music started the mosh pit started, now..... this wasn't your typical mosh pit, instead of just pushing, they were running in a circle. Round and Round, pushing and jumping all the while, but it seemed to get big FAST! Every time it went around more people got pulled in, which made the mosh pit bigger. Once the circle went around and there was only ONE person blocking me from the mosh pit and the guy in front of him had his head grabbed and his hat pulled of, i was out of there. I told Nat good luck, but I was going back with the boys. Once i got back I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom. When I got back Natalie was with the guys. I said "YOUR BACK?!" She said "I GOT PULLED INTO THE MOSH PIT AND FELL.. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!!" Of course I laughed at the thought of falling in this pit, scary yes.. funny.. of course. She was okay... don't think God what a nice sister! Shortly after my return we went closer again. We watched the pit go round and round, I wanted to get in, but was unsure. After a while I looked at Natalie and said "I KINDA WANT TO MAKE A GO AROUND!!" she said "ME TOO!!" So we did it! We JUMPED in! We held hands and skipped and ran with the crazy pushing jumping crowed. Once we got out a girl that we had talked to earlier said "YOU DID IT!!" yup we did! She wanted to go in too, so we went around two more times with our new mosh pit friend. It was weird, jumping into the pit reminded me of fantasy movie where somebody falls into another world. Once you jumped in, you disappeared, until you jumped back out. It was fun and scary. Oddly enough the reason I thought it looked fun was because it reminded me of Alice In Wonderland and the tea party "MOVE DOWN MOVE DOWN!!!"Once the concert was over we headed out, our ears were ringing, our chests all hurt from the dust that was created from the mosh pit, but I think we all had a good time (Adam is a hard guy to read... he said he had fun?) When we started walking to the car I looked at Natalie and said "Did you have fun?" she said "HELL YES!!! YEA!!!" As I talked to her a noticed her upper lip was COVERED in dusty dirt. It was so funny I started laughing and pointed out that she now had a dirt stash, she said "yea I think it's in my teeth too.." She smiled and, she was right, she had dirt in the crease of her gums. Ahhhh nothing says you had a good time at a concert like a dirt stash and dusty gums.

I'm not really sure

I'm not really sure what I should title this... Do all mom's feel this way... Maybe I watch too much TV... Getting lost in the moment....I've been having a lot of weird feelings lately. Feelings of it isn't enough. My life isn't enough. Things I'm doing with it isn't enough. I think part of it has to do with Diabetes, and part of is has to do with TV, and magazines Weird connection yes?

So here's how they stack up together. I LOVE TV, that's no secret, I watch a LOT of different shows. I also like to read magazines, not so much Gossip magazines like People Or US but Glamore is a new personal fav. In Glamour they give advice in a witty way and today I read small articles about successful women in the beauty business. I looked at these women, strong, beautiful, successful and they remind me of the characters from Lipstick Jungle one of my new favorite shows. (if you haven't watched it.. you should, it's a must) again, strong, beautiful, successful.. and I think. I would LOVE to be like them. There are things that I love about these women that are vain and greedy, like their clothes and money. I love fashion, I love clothes, make up, jewelry, hair, perfume and everything girly that has to do with beauty. I don't require the latest fashions from the high priced designers but having the MONEY to where it would be an option would be nice, but not necessary. I think the thing that makes all of these women (both fictional and non fictional) the most sexy and beautiful is their success and confidence.

Your probably wondering where Diabetes falls into this. I watched Oprah the other day and there was a story about Mother Warriors with Jenny McCarthy and I watched another show about breast cancer with Christina Applegate where they showed the women responsible for the Susan G.Koman fund. I looked at this lady and I thought.. THAT!! That's what I want! I want to be the women in the Magazine, and TV show but for something that matters. I want to take something for my daughter, something for Diabetes and make it BIG! I want people to know about Juvenile Diabetes just as much as they know about Breast Cancer. I want people to buy a Kleenex Box with a Gray ribbon and people to just know what it's for. I want THAT! and I want to be the one to get it done. Is that Crazy? Realistic?

This all makes me wonder, Do all or most mom's feel this way? Do they all go threw times where it doesn't seem to be enough. Then I think.. maybe that's what TV is for.. so that for an hour I can Get lost in the moment, get lost in the lives of the characters of Lipstick Jungle, I can sit back, and dream.. dream of what that might be like.