Something that's always there....

I just got done reading some blogs by mom's who have children with Type 1, or they them self's have it in addition to their children. Reading them brought up something that is always in my mind, something that is always in the back of my head. And it brought up something that I've never thought of, or worried about.. but is very real and does indeed have me a little anxious.

1. The thing that is always in my head, the thing that is always there, is the thought of Type 1 being passed on to other people in my family. Nobody in my family has Type 1. Bee is the first. There are two people on my dad's side that have type 2 but both were managed very easily by diet. So it makes me wonder and to be honest scared and a little sad, at the thought of RaRa being diagnosed later in life, i'm not sure of the chances or the likely hood but it does scare me. What also scares me is the thought of Bee having children with Type 1. Is this going to be one of those things that it's going to be in my family forever? Something generations to come are going to have? Are they going to have to fight this disease? It's heart braking for me, and brings tears to my eye's at even the thought.

2. The second thing that was blogged about, that I had never thought of before was Birthday Parties. I think because Bee isn't at the age where this is really an issue yet, but I've never thought about it before. But I was reading a fellow mommy's blog about how she dreads birthday party's. It's a great blog, that also brought tears to my eyes. Just knowing that this is going to be my babe's reality is so sad. That when she gets older, and receives that birthday invitation she's is going to be so excited, at having been invited. Then there will be me, who as her mom will be so happy that she is happy at being invited, but on the other hand terrified at all the un-knowns the birthday is going to bring. The cake, the play activities, the highs the lows. Will she eat enough sweets to balance out all the play she's going to be doing, or will she eat to many sweets and not enough play that she will have a horrible high, will she have some sweets, get a shot to cover the sweets, then play to much that she has a low? To many questions that I suppose right now I shouldn't worry about. One thing the mom said that sticks in my mind was something she said about how other Kids parents can drop them off and go home, not worry about every little thing their child is eating, or doing. But I, a mom of a Type 1 can't be worry free. I'm going to have to go, and be with her to see, to keep track so she can have a good time, and not worry about what she's eating, and how much she's playing, and what to do in case there is a sudden low, but I'll be there, the mom making it as easy on her as possible.
But I guess this brings up another issue, of independence. When can she do these things on her own? I will never be the parent who can leave worried free. I will always be the parent scared of what she's eating, if she's counting her carbs, if she's checking her sugars. But when will she be ready to do all this on her own? I suppose time will tell, and for now at least.. this too is something I shouldn't worry about.

Just in case you couldn't tell from the thoughts i have going in my head right now. Diabetes SUCKS!

"You can'd draw on me, I'm a kid... not paper"

Today RaRa had a sleeping EEG done. If you don't know what that is, I'll explain. It's a test that is done to measure brain activity while you sleep. They put little "buttons" on your head and watch for any abnormal activity while you rest. I think they specifically look for seize activity. RaRa had to have this done because of a seize she had a little over a month ago.

So in order for RaRa to sleep during the test we needed to keep her up till 12, then wake her up at 4. We had a plan to bake, bake, bake Christmas cookies, to keep her awake. But we ended up going to Kohl's for their 7-Midnight sale. I got a few things for the girls for Christmas (and No RaRa had no idea, she was to busy oohing and Ah'ing over a barbie princess carriage) and I think it kept us busier and less tired thank baking would have. So we left Kohl's around 11 and RaRa was still excited about baking, so we went to Albertsons and got some pre-shaped sugar Christmas cookies. We went home cooked maybe 7 of them, let RaRa frost them, then it was 12:30 and time to go to bed! WOOHOO!!

When you're only allowed to sleep for 4 hours it goes by pretty fast. So before I knew it, it was 4 and RaRa didn't want to get up, so we woke her up with a shower, and a good hair washing. She ate breakfast, watched some cartoons then it was time to go.

Once we got to the EEG Room, RaRa started talking about how she didn't want "suction cups" on her head. (it's a long story) The lady assured her that there would be no suction cups but called them "buttons" she went thru step by step what would happen and RaRa looked unsure, but agreed. She layed back and let the lady start doing what she does. It starts with them drawing on the head where the "buttons" would need to go. As she drew on RaRa's head, RaRa said "you can't draw on me, I'm a kid.. not paper" it was cute. After the sleeping part of the test was done, she had to do a blowing test, so they could see brain activity with the oxygen change, and a strobe light test. Once that was all done, the buttons could come off. RaRa said as she was pulling off some of the buttons "take it easy" the lady said "what?" RaRa said "Take it easy..." your hurting me. It was REALLY funny. After they washed up her head we were off! Overall it was a okay experience, i was so proud of how well RaRa did. She didn't fuss, or throw a fit, even tho i know she was tired, she just did what was asked of her and made us all laugh the whole time.

RaRa all buttoned up ready to go to sleep.

After it was all done, ready to take off the buttons.

she had CRAZY hair

RaRa and the EEG Tech that did RaRa's procedure

To many babies make me a Grumpy Girl

Today I realize that I couldn't do what my best friend Katie does. She provides day care for 2 kids. She has 2 kids of her own and every once in a while she has her baby sister too. SO how do I KNOW without doubt that my friend is indeed either crazy or a saint?? Because...... I today watched another baby other than my own.

My co-worker needed somebody to watch her son so I generously volunteered. He's 8 months old and he's a real doll. I thought it would be fun having a baby in the house, plus she was going to pay me (I told her she didn't have to, but she said "No", that I had to take it, and well..... it is Christmas time =) So he got to my place around 6:30 and slept for a little under an Hr. Once he woke up I held him for a bit, we played in the girls room till he got cranky. When he got cranky I took him to the living room. Once I got in there I felt warmth (never a good thing when your holding a kid in diapers) I looked down and there was pee DRIPPING down his leg, I thought "good god, is he wearing a diaper?!" So I change his pants. Once I did that, I set up a little play area in the living room, with a blanket, pillows, and toys. Him and RaRa played a for a bit, but it didn't last to long till he would start to whine again. This went on and off for a bit. I rocked him for a little while as he fussed, but finally he fell asleep. But as soon as I went to lay him down, he started to cry! (this happened twice at least) I'm left thinking, "I can't just HOLD him all day" But we'll see how it goes.

Around lunch time, he started crying. Bee started SCREAMING! and i do mean SCREAMING! She wanted me to hold her and put him down, but he wanted me to hold him, and IF i put him down he would start screaming, and making himself gag (now I HAD to do this to check Presley's blood sugar, and she started gagging herself). It was a tough situation. I felt bad for the little guy because he didn't know where he was, he doesn't feel good, and gee, he's only a baby. So I let Bee cry. and I'll just let you know, that decision made a bad situation worse and it became RIDICULOUS!!

Lets just say to make a long horribly painful story short, that they BOTH almost cried at me for an Hr. He was more on and off, but Bee cried (no screamed) the WHOLE time. He would fall asleep a bit, but then would wake up when Bee would start back up.

Luckily my sister came over and held him while he slept. I needed to give Bee her lunch and a shot for her high blood sugar, but I couldn't because he wouldn't let me put him down, and besides him not wanting to be set down, she wouldn't eat because she was to upset. Needless to say it was a tough afternoon, and his dad has come to get him, so he's off to the Dr. Poor little guy.

But phewph! I'm glad it's over!and with that I must say.......... Katie I SALUTE you!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

If I've said it once I've said it a MILLION times. I LOVE the Holidays. I just love the chill in the air, the decorations, the smiles on people's faces, the lights on houses, the smell of cookies, the smell of Christmas tree's, the look in my kid's eyes, and even the commercials on TV. I LOVE the commercials on TV right now, they all show happy people, giving gifts to family and friends, having parties, or a happy couple bundled up on the couch with snow outside, when suddenly the lucky lady gets a diamond necklace . hahaha.. okay okay, so I'm not having a party, there is no snow outside, and I don't think the Boss and I will be bundled on the couch while he hands me a diamond necklace. But that's beside point. I just love this time of year.

We were at my mom's on Sunday and we helped her decorate her tree. Once it was up and the lights were on, Bee walked in the room, her face was priceless, she stopped dead in her tracks, went straight as an arrow, her arms were straight at her side with her hands down and her palms open with her mouth opened wide, then she just started to yell in excited babble! It was just the most heart warming thing I've seen. Then to watch my girls Decorate the tree (or take them off when it came to Bee) with Christmas music in the background, a fire in the fire place it was just a very warming feeling. It was almost like my very own Holiday commercial minus the snow and the diamonds.

This is a great time of year, and I hope that everybody can truly enjoy these small moments, and try not to get to caught up in the hustle and bustle of gift buying (believe me i should heed my own advice) because although the gifts are great, and I love buying for friends and family, what really matters is the memories made and the traditions started with our children, to hear RaRa say "this is the BEST Christmas ever!" while decorating a tree (and I'll tell ya, that didn't cost a thing) is a true reminder of what the Holidays is all about, and what truly matters.

When I look back at the holiday's when i was a kid, what I remember the most, with the fondest memories is going to get our tree. We would go to a tree farm, run around till Natalie and I would agree on the PERFECT tree, my dad would cut it down and we would take it home. Then the night we would decorate it was also a fond memory of mine, music would be turned on, Natalie and I would run back and forth to the box of ornaments almost like a race to hang our favorite ornaments up. Once it was all done, the Angle would go up,then Natalie and I would sit on the couch while mom would hang bows on the tree (which i always hated, but now i kinda miss them) ahhh what a great priceless memory.

I hope I do this for my kids, I hope they remember the feeling in the air, and the excitement that it brings. I only hope that Santa brings me a camera like I asked for, that way I can take pictures of the special decorating of the tree next year *wink*

Sleepy Mommy

I went to bed WAY to late last night, I belong to a website called ChildrenWithDiabetes and it's a GREAT place for parents of children with diabetes (or kids them self's) to go talk to other people who can really understand what they are going threw. So I was up late, reading posts and just generally hangin out. Bee was High before bed time so I checked her around 10:30 and she was still really high, so the poor little thing had to have a shot. Just so you know, there is something heart braking about waking your baby up to give them a shot. I went to bed around 11, and at 11:40 Bee started SCREAMING. I jumped up and ran to her room fast with Meter in hand. I was afraid that her Insulin from Dinner and the insulin I gave her at 10:30 all of a sudden started working (Granted her Dinner insulin was over 5 hrs prior, but still) So she was fine, i think it was gas. But I am so tired from not sleeping that well. It's a sad thing to have to be afraid while your child is sleeping in their own bed that something could happen to them in the middle of the night, that it would be something their body did to itself that could be truly harmful to them

Black Friday..

So black Friday has come and gone, and I got a few things at KILLER deals! My mom came and picked me up at 3:30 to get to Kohls by 4. Once we got there the line was crazy! I wasn't sure what I wanted but I KNEW nothing was worth being out there since midnight. (which some people were) Mom and I didn't get in line, we sat in our car till the doors opened and the line got smaller.

Once inside I power walked to the kids section the only thing i knew i wanted was the game Chutes and Ladders, and Candy Land. They were only going to be 1.99, (AFTER a mail in rebate i find out at check out, but that's besides the point. AND you better believe that I'm getting my 2 dollars back!) Once I grabbed my games, I went to look at clothes for the girls, my mom got them Christmas Dresses and I got them each 2 pairs of PJ's both for only 8 dollars regularly 20. WOOT WOOT! =) I got Grace a Dress for $12.00 regularly $30.00 can I get another WOOT WOOT! =) and I got each the girls a my little pony for 4.00 each. I also bought a DVD of 150 OLD cartoons like Betty Boop, Casper the Ghosts. Stuff like that. BUT it's skipping so I'm taking it back today, and with that money and my Kohls Cash from yesterday I'm getting a new bra. Back on to my shopping.... So at check out I spent 70 bucks for all that stuff, which is exciting because the Pj's ALONE would have been 80.00 GREAT DEAL! After Kohls we went to my house ate, and grabbed the girls (The boss had to go to work) then we hit Target, the only thing i KNEW i wanted there was the Movie The 300 for The Boss's stocking, and it was only going to be 5.00 Great! Also while i was their I got Bee her Birthday outfit/gift. Target didn't have any good deals on clothes. Oh well =) So that was my Black Friday, day =)

I hope everybody had a GREAT thanksgiving! And if you went out and weathered the Black Friday madness I hope you got all you heart desired!

A Day of Thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who read my blog. I'm not really sure anybody does, It may be a shout out to two of my friends from high school, but none the less I hope it's a good one.
I'm looking forward to the family today, and the food too a little ( i think i'm getting over a stomach thing) but i'm very much looking forward to the AD'S! I can't wait. Although i've already seen my favorite store (target) and ehh.. it was okay. I may go in the morning.
I got an email from a cousin Michigan with a picture of what they woke up to, and I say I am THANKFUL that i live in California!

It looks cold!

Lets go fly a KITE!

If your a gal, who only wears thongs, or who has never owned or has ever worn a pair of BIG Granny panties.. Please keep browsing. If you are a Gal who has worn a pair of BIG Granny Panties please read on.

Sunday I was working all day, and the Boss was home with RaRa and Bee. While I was at work, The Boss did ALL the laundry and it was GREAT! It took care of what i needed to do on Monday. When i went to go lay down that night there was still laundry on the bed, which included my BIG PREGNANT Granny panties, and they were folded. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I took a pair of them and opened them up and just started laughing, they are HUGE and to think that my husband folded them made me laugh so hard. It reminded me of a movie where these two guys were talking about their relationship in a laundry mat and this one guys said "What are you complaining about, your girlfriend wears these" (thongs held up) "my wife wears these" (Granny panties) I went to the living room and told The Boss laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants "Don't ever, ever fold my Granny panties just throw them in my drawer" he said "what do you want me to do with them? I thought about making a kite" I was laughing soo hard i had to walk away and use the bathroom or I was really going to pee myself.
My how the dynamics of a relationship change once you've been together for so long.
I guess one solution to this would be throw away my huge granny panties. But, they are really comfy when Aunt Flow is in town. Ohh the joy's!

Sliding Doors

I was left thinking the other day about the movie "Sliding doors." For those of you who haven't seen it or maybe never even heard of it, let me just tell you real quick what it's about.
Gweneth Paltrow plays the main character who comes home early (i don't remember if she was fired or if she just left early, but i think she was fired) and finds her boyfriend cheating on her/ but on the other hand, it shows how she missed the subway and by doing this she just missed her boyfriend being unfaithful. SO it kind of plays with how different our life's can be by the smallest thing, like missing a subway.
So it made me think about living where I'm living. It's no secret that I'm not all that fond of California anymore, and I would be more than happy moving someplace smaller, and quieter. One of the lifetime movie town's with tree lined streets, neighbors that wave to one another, small town festivals, the perfect place to raise a family. But this leaves me thinking, how different my kids would be depending on where we lived.
How living in California, with the hustle and bustle conpairs to a quieter simpler town. How would the girls change in each situation? which would be better? Which is going to give them the best chance of what they may want as they get older. It's a hard thing to say I guess, and I think as a mom I just want whats best for my girls, and I know i over think things far to often, but I still wonder, where really is the best place to raise kids? and how would each environment change them? Just my thought for the day.

Mayonnaise VS Miracle Whip

I was talking to a client yesterday about Thanksgiving, and we got on the topic of left over turkey sandwiches. (YUM) Which was my inspiration for this blog.
So many people like Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. But MOST people don't like both, your either a Mayonnaise person or your a Miracle Whip person, it's an either or kinda thing.
I for instance am a Mayonnaise Gal. I HATE miracle whip. It's to sweet, and it just tastes funny. There is an exception to this Mayo vs Miracle Whip debate for me. and that is Thanksgiving leftovers. I think that a left over turkey sandwich is at it's absolute best with Miracle whip. I don't know what it is that makes Miracle whip good for me in a left over turkey sandwich? Maybe it's tradition? Although this seems highly unlikely since I grew up in a mayonnaise house. I can't remember the first time I had miracle whip on my Turkey sandwich? Could it have been after I met The Boss.. because he grew up in a Miracle Whip house (which, i saved him from, Our girls are growing up an a Mayonnaise house) Well, where ever it came from, i am hands down a Mayonnaise girl, with the exception of my left over turkey sandwich with miracle whip.

Black Friday!!!!

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is next week, and further more that Black Friday is NEXT FRIDAY! I love this time of year, I love going over the ad's around the dining room table, eating snacks as my family and I try to decide if there is any place worth going at 5 in the morning (well maybe not 5 i don't think anything is worth that.. but maybe 6) I'm so excited.
But because I'm excited I was thinking, The Boss's work often times gives out Christmas bonuses. Don't ya think that they should give bonus BEFORE Black Friday? I do. They normally gives it the week before Christmas. Dang talk about last min Christmas shopping. So this year I've started early. I've started getting presents for the girls (clothes and stuff, toys will be next) that way I wont feel so OVERWHELMED when Christmas really is right around the corner.

Now I'm off! Survivor is on!

Brake me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar!

Today I had a Kit Kat after dinner, and all I have to say is YUM! I haven't had one in a really long time, and it is a REALLY good little treat. The perfect blend of chocolate and wafer. So I say Salute to You Mr. Kit Kat bar inventor!

Cindy's Dream Team

This weekend my family participated in the Susan G. Koman breast cancer 3 day walk. This was a very important and emotional walk for my family and I. After we lost our Aunt Cindy in march to a 15 year battle with Breast Cancer, we knew that we needed to dry our eye's and pick up where she left off. Pick up the fight that she fought for so long. Shortly after her passing 9 family members joined the San Diego Breast cancer 3 day walk. A 60 mile walk over a duration of 3 emotional days. It was an AMAZING experience that I am so proud to have been a part of. I believe it was a great thing for my family to do, it gave us all time together, to talk about my Aunt Cindy, to cry about her, and to remember what an amazing person she was. I believe that this will be a cause I will be forever apart of, if not by walking, then by being a cheerer to those who are taking the long steps to raise the money, and walk the 60 miles. Here are some pictures of our experience this weekend.

It started early on Friday morning, we all met at the Del Mar fair Grounds at 5:30AM for the opening ceremonies.


My mom and I

Uncle Larry and Tracy

The sea of Pink in front of us.

The Sea of Pink behind us

The Openeing Ceremonies was an emotional time for us, I started getting teary just thinking about why we all were there. Then they started speaking to everybody listing a number of reasons why we all were their, and how we made a choice to be there. They spoke to the husbands who have lost their wifes, and how they are making a difference for their wife by being their instead of sitting at home. This I think was the braking point for my entire team.
After the emotional speech, it was time to get going. This took quite some time. (it takes a lot of time to get 4700 people moving) But once we got out of the Del Mar Fair grounds we looked like a sea of Pink for as far as you're eye could see.

My cousin Tracy and I

The Sea of PINK you could see for miles.

My Uncle Larry and I at the bottom of Torrey Pines Hill. (it was a dossie)

at the end of day one, my mom just collapsed in my cousin Andrea's Tent. ha ha she couldn't get up because her legs were going into cramps

Here we are at the start of day two waiting to leave camp. We took the time waiting in line (they scan you when you leave and come back to camp) to take a photo with the cut Cops from San Jose who come out every year for the walk. They are GREAT! They are their for our protection, to help keep us motivated, and... well they arn't bad to look at either.

Here is a picture of Tracy and I on the LONGEST stretch of beach I think I've ever walked. On the walk there was a positing that said "Pit stop 1 mile" Well as far as we could see, we didn't see ANY pit stop. I think sometimes they Lie to you about how far you have to go, just to keep your spirits up. Because believe you me, we could see a LONG ways down.

Hydrate or Die DRY! the theme of the weekend. this was at each pit stop to remind us to drink

There were vans that would drive around the rout and pick people up and take them to the next pit stop, if they weren't feeling well, if they had a blister they needed to tend to, or if they were just plain tired. Each van had a theme that the driver's would pick, This is my mom with Dorthy, from the Wizard of OZ van.
Also along the rout there were people who had chairs, tables and goodies for us, just little pick me ups along the long walk. This was my mom's (and uncles) favorite pick me up. They had beer.

only a mile left till the end of day two. I'm so proud of my mom, she did great! here we are at the top of a bridge we had to cross. And believe you me, what goes up must come down, and the stairs to get back down to sand level were KILLER!

CINDY'S DREAM TEAM on the start of day three. By far the MOST emotional day yet.

Emotions and all, you still need to remember to dance. Which my team could always find time to do.

Here are some of the people that were out every day cheering us on and giving us a little extra push of motivation when we started feeling like we just couldn't do it anymore.

The Happy Guy, had a group of women walking called "The Happy Guy Girls" He had a blow horn that he would shout thru and "Charge" us up. He also had his little girl "Little Grin" pass out candy and buttons

The Pink panther

Bustin Out Billy and his YaYa's were every where. They even had posters set up along the rout as motivation

The Lady's of Cindy's Dream team at the last pit stop. Only one mile to go. This was a very emotional time I think for all of us. People were scattered this last mile cheering us on, every once in a while you would hear somebody yell "Way to go Cindy's dream team!!" that always got me choked up. Or when you see a women who is obviously going thru kemo, claping for YOU and saying "thank you" there is nothing you can do but cry, look at her, clap and tell her thank you for coming out.

My cousin Marget and I.

We did it! Cindy's Dream team at the End of the 60 mile walk. I think my Aunt Cindy would be very proud of each and every one of us. I KNOW she was watching over us these last 3 days. I only wish we had done it sooner, with her. She would have loved that.

Tracy and I with our victory T-Shirts.
(I dunno who that guy is. But I'm glad Tracy's head is in the way =)

Aunt Judy and my mom

Mine and Tracy's aching feet.
I don't think my toes will EVER go in my shoes again. I think if i tried to put them in there again they would back out like a cat getting a bath.

This was getting ready for closing ceremonies. The pink shirts are all survivors who walked this year. It was very emotional walking by them, they were all clapping for us, and we were all clapping for them. It made me cry wishing my Aunt was apart of the sea of pink.

It was a hard thing to do, raising the money, and try to walk 60 miles. Your legs would cramp, you feel muscles you didn't know you had, your feet get blisters, you're knees may lock up, and at the end of the day your whole body aches. So some people may wonder why 4700 people chose to put them self's thru this. So here is the answer to

WHY we Walk??

So no husband ever has to say good bye to the love of his life.

So every Niece knows how much their Aunt Loves them.

So Every Grandma will know her grand children.

and So no mother has to be scared at the thought of leaving her children.

These are the reasons I walked, the reasons I raised 2200 dollers, to hope that one day we will know, that my children will know a life without breast cancer.

Rules when going to see your Hair Stylist. (just a few)

I love my job, but there are a few thing's that really get under my skin when doing it. So here's a little list of things you shouldn't say, ask, or do when with your stylist.

1. Don't' ask if they are good at cutting hair. How stupid! first of all, if they aren't any good do you really think they will say "Actually No, I'm terrible.. but I'll TRY my hardest!"

2. Never ask for 2,3, or 4 layers. It's dumb. There is no such thing as a two layered. three layered or four layered hair cut. If you only want 2,3,4 layers, I will take the proper number of chunks of hair and cut a piece out. Now you have that many layers. (this was only the case once in my time of cutting hair, a lady wanted THREE layers up front so we pieced it out and cut it in three different spots. kinda cool looking really)

3. If you INSIST on having a little girl with long hair, BRUSH IT! It's an upkeep. It doesn't mean bring her to a hairdresser to have her brush her hair out for 30min because it's so full of knots. If i owned my own salon, this would cost you extra.

4. If you have Lice, don't come in, and BEG us to work around it. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

5. If you have a little boy, who won't sit still and will scream during the entire hair cut, please don't ask for a nice tight fade, how about a good ol fashion buzz cut.

6. Realize that hair styles found in hair style books are just that STYLES. not just a cut. It will probably take some effort.

7. Unless you have a Cosmetology license don't tell me how to do my job. If your so smart do it yourself.

8. Wash, your hair. Don't come in with hair that is so dirty that it's hard to brush, it's just gross.

9. Control your kid's while in the salon, don't let them pull product off the shelves, spin on styling chairs, or run around. It's a business and they should probably act that way.

10. TIP YOUR HAIRDRESSER. Believe it or not, they really DO live off their tips. They are being paid (but not always) hourly but not very much, not enough anyways for somebody who is a Licensed specialist that is providing a service that not just ANYBODY can do.

There ya have it! Just a few things that annoy me when doing my job. Don't do (or do, do.. like tip) these things and I'm sure you and your stylist will have a beautiful relationship!

The Balancing Act is So hard.

Last night the Boss and I kinda got into a discussion on me watching TV. He thinks I'd rather watch TV than be with him. So it made me think about how hard it is to be all the roles we as women play. I'm a wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister, and yes...... me. So it seems like the "me" always comes in last on any list. It made me think about how does one balance this in a healthy way? I try to look at it from the Boss's point of view, he works all day, does the night time routine and sometimes dinner (3 nights a week) he worries about the bills, how they'll be paid, how much is due, and when we're together he wants us to be TOGETHER. He wants some special attention from me, his wife. Then I think about where I'm coming from, All day i spend with two kids, who are constantly needing something, wanting something, hanging on my legs, watching me go to the bathroom, laying under my feet when I'm making lunch, picking up something, cleaning up something, changing something, going some where, playing with the kids. It's really exhausting, then I get ready and go to work till 9 that night (3 nights a week). So I think what's wrong with me wanting to come home and enjoy ME, MY time. Time where i don't have anything or anybody to mess with or do? So maybe I'm wrong to choose my "intimate" time with the Boss based on TV showsHAHA. But If I want to relax and watch something Sunday, then what's wrong with waiting till Monday? I don't understand why we just can sit, and be together, why I have to put a whole lot of effort into making him feel special? Now I don't think that I NEVER have to do that, and I probably could do it more often, but give a girl a brake. It's so hard to be everything to everybody and still to try and find the time to do something for yourself. Just a thought of mine for the day.

Simplicity of being a kid

Having Kid's you see all the things that kids appreciate that us adults don't. Kids are easily made happy, and are very easily entertained. Today we went to the park and I took a few pictures of the kids playing. And I love looking at them, I think how great it is to be a kid, how the park holds so much fun and adventure for them. They can appreciate the slides, the sand, the swings, the hills. Far more than we can. So when I'm bored and I wish we could just go, I try to remember how much fun it was to be a kid, and to think about how much fun they must be having, it helps me hang out just that much longer.
Let's take a look at a few of the things that my kids appreciate that i wish could appreciate still

Swinging like a monkey above the slid. MAN that was fun! (but does it ever make the mom nervous)

Going down a slide with your best friend.

Probably thinking.. Get that camera out of my face.

How could we ever forget how much fun it is to swing.....

on our

BELLY'S!!!

Or the simple joy a stick can bring?

Our very own Cinderella

Sand Castles, mud pies, holes, sand cities.. the possibilities are endless

How many adults can go up and down the same hill over and over because your mom says "1..2..3..GO!"

having a quiet moment in the grass

1........2........3..............

GO!!!!!!

Playing in a tube, what is more fun than that???

or laying in a tube

Tiny feet

Chillin, in the tube.

So there ya have it. simple pleasures of being a kid. Wish only I could be content with so little. I think we all could learn something from kids, and as parents we are so blessed to see the world again through a kids eyes.

Halloween.

The holiday of Goblins and Ghosts is over for another year. It was a great Halloween (for the most part, The Boss and I aren't getting along but we won't bother with that) Before I talk about my night with the kiddies, lets talk about a few things that annoyed me, It's hard to imagine .....I know that anything could possible annoy me. But these are things that I think are in the Halloween handbook, and if there not... they should be, and if there isn't a book.. maybe I'll write one. Just a few Rules to follow when it comes to Halloween.
1. You must say "Trick Or Treat" to get a treat, or yes even a trick. Don't come up to me and just hold your bag out. One it's rude. Two, i wont give you anything.
2. If some one handing out candy says "how about trick or treat???" (because you were rude and just stuck your bag out) do NOT respond with "No English" Because I'll tell you to keep walkin.
3. It's okay to dress your infant up and give them a basket, because I understand the whole "First Halloween" thing but as the parents, Please do not carry your own pillow case.. it's just tacky.
4. Don't give your older child two bag's one for herself and one for the infant in the stroller, if your to lazy to walk up with the baby, guess what?? the baby gets no candy.
5. If your old enough to shave.. your to old, go find a Party instead.
6. Be respectful of the little kids out there, if your older, don't run them over, or cut them off at a door to get candy first. there is enough to go around. I promise.
7. and last but not least... don't forget, just because your dressed up as a zombie doesn't mean you need to be a rude zombie say "Thank you"

Now onto our night. It was great, it started with carving of the pumpkins. Both girls did their own drawing of the face then their Big mama and Auntie helped cut them out. During Pumpkin carving both girls were dressed up "witches".

Bee thinking "and you want me to what...??"
RaRa wearing Big Mama's Witch hat.The girl's busy at work, well RaRa anyways.
Big mama and Auntie busy at work too.The girls LOVED their pumpkins.And i LOVED them too. They turned out GREAT!
We had pizza for dinner (REALLY great pizza from papa Murphy's) and during dinner I got my makeup done, I was a witch.My cousin asked if I was Elphaba, I wasn't attending to be, but I am obsessed with WICKED so, yes.. we'll go with that.RaRa was the most perfectly perfect pumpkin, she did me proud.

Bee was JoJo the clown from Disney.

The Boss's parents showed up as scary skeletons (which is why bee is crying) after his parents showed up Bee wouldn't walk on her own, so The Boss had the pleasure of carrying our girl all night. They had a really good time trick or treating (and they followed the guidelines listed above) Grace was done, before we were "done," before we made the full circle of the neighborhood. she said "I got enough candy i wanna go back to big mama's house" So that was easy. I think parents are funny, and I can say this because I am one, and as we were walking, I realized that some of the things i was making the kids do I was having them do just so I could get my picture. I think SOMETIMES we forget that these times are for the kids, and about them having fun, not about us getting the perfect picture to show the perfect night. But just going with the flow, letting what happens happen, that,THAT is the perfect night. The rest of the night, we sat out front and watched kids go up and down the street. the kids passed out candy and we all checked out costumes. It was a good day, and I look forward to doing it all over again next year. Here's a few more pictures to send you off with.

Those are my In-laws as Skeletons.. Spooky. Then The Boss carrying Bee to the next house. and below are the kids trick or treating.

Bee and Mommy, RaRa and my Sister.

RaRa and Mommy, The Boss and I