Monday, October 20, 2014

Trying to clear it up...

My mom said to me the other day while I was doing her hair "we've been terrible fundraisers this year" Yea... a bit. We went from the 3rd highest fundraising team in San Diego to probably not even on the spectrum HAHA! I told her, it's because I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to get people to give a shit about something they just don't understand or care about. I talked about that HERE and why I think diabetes doesn't get the attention I think it needs.

But then my mom said something else to me. She said she was driving with a friend of my Aunts who has been friends with my Aunt since Presley's diagnoses, who has donated money to our walk, and she STILL didn't understand that Presley was never going to be cured of diabetes, that Presley is 100% insulin dependent. I looked at my mom and said "wow, we're obviously not being very clear" So let me be clear.

(Now even this is stereotypical, I know some type 2 diabetics that are not over weight, NOT all type2 diabetics are overweight, but I thought the picture was funny, AND it's a kid vs. an adult)





Presley's PUMP is not a CURE, it's sort of like Life support.
Lets Also be VERY clear. People with diabetes can live FULL normal lives!

 But they have added challenges that come with some pretty crappy side effects, like
TO recap...
TYPE 1 AND TYPE 2 DIABETES .... NOT the same




Thursday, October 16, 2014

Letting go

Presley's new nurse starts Thursday, and I'm having a really hard time with it. Things aren't going how I would like, BUT I'm trying to let go of some control. Our school district hired an LVN instead of using an agency nurse. I'm told this is a good thing, that the district then takes on the responsibility of checking references and experience, instead of just taking the agency's word for it. Which I totally love, but it also removes some of my control. I asked to meet her before her first day, and was told "no" they wont pay her before her first day on campus, this bothered me. I think it's asking a lot of a parent with a child who has medical issues to just go with the flow and trust their judgment. Especially with the LVN's I've been given thus far. It's been a doosy of hot messes, from; not giving Presley any insulin to correct a BG of 400 all day, one who asked if she was allowed to give her insulin with out asking for permission first, and finally one who when asked to give her ONE unit of insulin for ketones drew up 10!! Like I said.... a bunch of hot messes who clearly aren't qualified. One of the nurses when I voiced my worries to the agency nurse director said "I'm surprised to hear you say that. her last diabetic family felt that she knew their son better than they did" I'll tell you what. after working with her for 3 weeks, the ONLY thing that speaks volumes to is the parents. Poor kid I say.

I'm trying to go with the flow because I don't really have an option, and that is REALLY hard for me. It's hard to just sit back and see how things play out, because well, it's my daughter who is in the middle of "if" things work out well or not. She's the one that's going to bare the brunt of which ever end this new nurse falls, either she'll be fantastic or another hot mess. On a POSITIVE note, I met her VERY briefly yesterday while at school with Presley. She came in to get some paper work, she wanted to know what specific pump Presley wears because she was going to be going to a pump training course. So that's a positive, made me happy she's wanting to learn. She was well spoken and seemed with it. I'm anxious about how it's all going to work out. One of the office ladies said "are you being positive?!?!" I smiled and told her "lets not be crazy... not yet" HA! My how I envy parents who get to drop off their child and...... that's it. Just drop them off, and know they are ok. I'm going to miss our current nurse terribly. I don't trust many people with her but I do with Dana, explicitly, I can hand her over and say "her BG is 50.... have fun with that" and I KNOW Dana is on the case, I know she cares for Presley deeply and has her best interest at heart at all times. Gosh am I going to miss that.

Take a deep breath, and just breath. Letting go is very hard to do.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Music Time MONDAY!!

Because my mind is wrapped around diabetes tonight, I don't feel like sharing some fun tunes, instead.... I'm going to share videos I've made over the years. They are repetitive but different, I haven't made a video in some time, so these were all for the JDRF which we no longer raise funds for, and our team name has changed, but the message is the same, my plea, and heartbreak is the same. XO

This was my first attempt at making a video ... like. EVER




Because it matters

A very large portion of my life since July 25th 2007 has been dedicated; tearfully, tiresomely, sleeplessly, whole heartedly to this little girl. My life was forever changed in the moment I was told my baby had diabetes. Since that moment I've been a mother, a nurse, an educator, and advocate for those dark brown eyes and bright smile. Being her mother has taught me patients, and compassion that I never knew.

It's hard watching your daughter deal with such grown up and life threatening issues, but you know what makes that hardness heart breaking? The fact that nobody gets it, nobody cares. I watch other medical diagnoses get the attention I wish my daughter would get. I watch ALS challenges go viral online, and it seems like every other product is in a pink box for breast cancer. Then I look down, at my little girl, with permanent holes in her fingers, two medical devices attached to her waist, and a bag of medical supplies hanging from her small shoulder, and I think.... why?
Why not her, why not her story, why not diabetes?
I think I know why. I think it's because when people hear somebody has been diagnosed with cancer, or some other disease people think, it happened TO them, but when they think of diabetes they automatically think of every stereo type that goes with that. They think it didn't happen TO them, but BECAUSE of themselves. Because, every diabetic is over weight.. right?
They are old or live unhealthy lives.... right?
Wrong. Diabetes effects children, around 15,000 each year.
I'm not complaining, because really, it is what it is. Most days are just days, nights are sleepless but I'm use to it, but there are times when I just feel..... alone. Alone in the fight to assure she's safe at school, alone in my sadness that diabetes is her forever reality, alone when I walk into to her room at night to check her BG to find her with her eyes glazed over and she's just vacant.
 Alone in my frustration that diabetes is so easily dismissed by so many.  
Today's been a rough day, so I'm feeling alone and sad. But this to shall pass.
Tomorrow will be a new day with this beauty
If your reading this and you want to show your support... well, it would mean a lot.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Living in fear

I've had a lot of conversations lately about living in fear, and how I think we do. The conversation started with Tyler and I because of pick up at my kids school, it's CRAZY! There are so many parents there picking up their kids. Now, we have a lot of transfer in kids, so of course they are being picked up, but even local neighborhood kids have their parents either driving, and picking them up or walking to the school to walk home with them. This has brought up the topic of... why?

Why do parents not let their kids walk home alone with their friends and or siblings? I remember in first grade, walking home with my sister, along with all the other neighborhood kids. So why not now? We're so afraid that something might happen to them that we hold them back. I remember on any given weekend going out and playing till we got hungry, or walking to the local mini mart where we would buy candy. In order to get to the store we had to walk down our street, around the block, and go THROUGH an apartment complex then through a little ally till we got there. I don't know any of my friends that would let their kids do that today.

I've talked with some of my friends about this and they all say the same thing "Things are different now" I sort of sit there with a.. "hmm.. ya think" look on my face. IS it really different? Or are we just aware more. Is there REALLY MORE crime than there was back then? Or are we just exposed to it more now? Are their MORE predators out there OR are we just aware of where they live? The only thing I agree with is "there's more people now" which is also something that's come up when discussing this. Well sure there's more people, but if you were smart and did the research, I wonder if the amount of crime then and now would sort of even out based on population. Because it's reasonable to think that there is MORE crime now because there's MORE people, but percentage wise... is it really grater taking population into account? I would be interested in knowing that.

I think about how much scarier it actually would have been being a parent when I was growing up letting your kid walk to the store with a friend, or as a teen getting in the car and going out. Because we DIDN'T have cell phones, so once we walked out the door, we were UN-REACHABLE. I think one could argue our kids are safer because of the cell phones most kids have in their pockets. I read an article once about the new generation, and how we are holding them back, how we don't let them take calculated risks, and if you raise a child who never takes risks...... they will grow into adults who don't take them either, and sometimes risks help us succeed.

This isn't to say I don't have the same fears as everybody else. The thought of letting Grace walk to a store with a friend or two to buy some candy FREAKS MY FREAK. But I think that's normal, what I don't think is normal is our fears as parents stopping our kids from doing things that kids should do because WE'RE afraid of what might happen. With that fear we're going to raise a generation of kids who will go out into the world for the first time never experiencing anything. I learned in 1st grade walking home from school that you shouldn't stick your tongue out at a car because they might turn around and scare the shit out of you. But it was an experience I had, and learned from. I think we need to loosen the reigns a bit and stop saying "Times are different" we need to stop living in fear of the worst happening and realizing that all those experiences we had as children are being taken from our kids because we're living in fear. I think we're different, we're scared, and you know what, being a parent is scary. It's scary watching your heart walk out the door, and hoping and praying it returns safely, but it's normal.

Okay. I did some research on crime and the statistics through the years

In 1960 the population was 179,323,175 and ALL crime totaled 3,384,200
for crime % of .001
In 1969 the population was 201,385,000 and ALL crime totaled 7,410,900
for a crime % of .036

In 1970 the population was 203,235,298 and ALL crime totaled 8,098,000
for a crime % of .039
In 1979 the population was 220,099,000 and ALL crime totaled 12,249,500
for a crime % of .055

In 1980 the population was 225,349,264 and ALL crime totaled 13,408,300
for a crime % of .059
In 1989 the population was 248,239,000 and ALL crime totaled 14,251,400
for a crime % of .057

In 1990 the population was 248,709,873 and ALL crime totaled 14.475,600
for a crime % of .058
In 1999 the population was 272,690,813 and ALL crime totaled 11,643,378
for a crime % of .042

In 2000 the population was 281,421,906 and ALL crime totaled 11,608,072
for a crime % of .041
In 2009 the population was 307,006,550 and ALL crime totaled 10,762,956
for a crime % of .035

In 2010 the population was 309,330,219 and ALL crime totaled 10,363,873
for a crime %.033
In 2012 the population was 313,914,040 and ALL crime totaled 10,189,902
for a crime % of .032

I got these numbers HERE, it's actually pretty interesting. It shows the year, the population and the number of reported crimes in the category of each crime.. for example. Murder, Rape, aggravated assault. So I suppose percentage wise it was safer in the 60's but far more "dangerous" to grow up in the late 70's through the 80's.

I also looked up some facts about child abduction

99.8% of All children that go missing return home

90% of missing children is due to a misunderstanding directions, a miscommunication of plans, are lost or runaways.

9% of abducted children are taken by a family member

3% of abducted children are taken during a crime such as a robbery or sexual assault and typically somebody the child knows

100 children a fraction of 1% are taken in the stereotypical stranger kidnapping and about half of these children come home.

I gathered these statistics from HERE

This got me to think about the people who would say "Well I don't want to be part of that statistic" which is pretty much proving my point, that we're living in fear. Fear that something awful might happen. But then I thought...."I bet playing sports is FAR more dangerous than the chances of being abducted"

3.5 Million children get hurt annually while participating in some sort of sporting activity

The leading cause of death in sports is typically brain injury

Baseball / Softball has the HIGHEST fatality rate with 3 to 4 deaths YEARLY

THIS is a really interesting site with more information about sporting injuries

I'm not saying that we shouldn't allow our children to play sports, of course not, that would be living in fear. But I do say we shouldn't live in fear of the worst case scenario happening either. But our kids are more likely to die playing baseball than they are to be snatched up from a stranger. My point is we should allow them to walk home from school with friends, we should let them walk to the local store to buy candy, and ride their bikes to a friends houses. We may hold our breath and not breath the ENTIRE time their gone, but that's our cross to bare as parents, not theirs.

Friday, October 3, 2014

I LOVE Television!

The final seasons of Sons of Anarchy is in full swing and. it. isBLOODY! I'm sad to see this show go, but I'm also left guessing how it might end. So far this season my heart breaks for Jax, you can see the change in the character, his demeanor is different, he seems to have switched from a tortured soul with conflicts of which direction to live his life to a man who no longer gives a shit. The death of Tara really turned his switch, no more conflict, just revenge.

I don't know how Gemma can look her son in the face or talk to her grandkids about Tara. Oh wait, I do, she's a psychopath. She is actually tortured over what she's done, you can tell with how she talks to Tara now. All the blood that has been shed this season so far is ALL her doing. This last episode was shocking, the Chinese are out for blood now too. This really is fixing to be the bloodiest season yet. I have a prediction..... or I guess not really a prediction but an ending that I think would be AWESOME!

What if on the final episode in the final scene there is one Sons left, I predict it will be Bobby, Chibs or Juice, and their sitting across from either the Sheriff or the black district attorney lady TELLING the story of the Sons of Anarchy and how they fell. How the organization fell apart. That ALL 7 seasons, the whole series was just a look at the past and how it all turned to shit. I think THAT would be a good ending.

This is a new DR show that was actually surprised by. I started watching it with my eyes half rolling into my head thinking.. "Oh great, here we go, another DR show where all the DR are sleeping together in the custodians closet" BUT NO! It was actually pretty good. I liked the idea behind it, I thought it was original and new. A hospital for sick kids and those kids stories. It made me giggle, and it made me cry. So I liked it, I mean it's not the BEST show on TV but it's entertaining and like I said.. original.

I need to give this show another chance. I didn't LOVE it. It was okay, I did like that we've met some of the characters we've known, before they were who they were like,  Poison Ivy, the Riddler, and the Penguin But it wasn't GREAT. I'll give it a chance because I saw it Comic Con hahahahah

Now for a shows I didn't love. The Mysteries of Laura.. I was bummed because I love Debra Messing BUT EW! I hated this show.. BECAUSE of her kids. I don't mind her character but I can't STAND her kids. I don't know why anybody would think snotty, rude, disrespectful kids who don't listen is entertaining. Tyler has a theory that it's because unruly children are acceptable now. Parents don't parent that much, they are lazy and are more concerned with keeping their kids busy in front of a computer and being their friends than being the disciplinarian and role model. If the kids weren't IN the show or were good children, I would like this show.
Yea here that NBC... EW! to rotten kids!

Now for a really what's probably going to be my most unpopular review! HA! I don't HATE this show, lets just start with that. BUT it made me role my eyes. It seems like EVERYBODY is autistic now, any child that isn't "Normal Normal" (noticed I doubled that up. because what's normal??) Has to be diagnosed with something. NOW it's not that I don't believe in autism or that there are children and adults who have it. I'm just saying.. I think it's OVER diagnosed. With that being said, watching this made me roll my eyes and think "of course.." I mean it's so popular now why not have a show about an autistic kid who's really a genius and the adults who are just like him. I also think the pilot was a bit "yea.... okay like that could happen" for instance the plane flying over the sports car and them plugging a cord into a computer from the wheel well?? Yea right. I also said I didn't HATE it. I'm glad that Katharain McPhee got more work, I like her.
This is all for now...

Monday, September 29, 2014

MUSIC time Monday!!!!!

SO I missed last weeks Music time Monday BUT not this week! I've been so busy with the girls school that time has slipped away from me. But I have much to discuss. Lets begin my blog purging with this song by Hozier

Take Me to Church

I love this song, I love the melody and the beat, I think it's supper catchy and soulful.
The lyrics however I find confusing, I guess it's "deeper" than I, I watched a video with only lyrics and I am still confused. I watched the video and it made me sad. I knew the song wasn't "Pro" religion, but I wasn't expecting such sadness. But I suppose, even in a modern world there are areas of the world and people who still carry deep hatred towards others and often times that's because of a religious belief. Anyways.. this blog isn't about controversy BUT music. I LOVE music!

Enjoy!!! maybe you should listen with your eyes closed so your opinion of the song isn't based on the video.... if it would have any baring on your enjoyment!